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Days go by.... And I'm still without you. Even my forgetful mind... I cannot forget you. I miss you.... and wonder where you are.... Are you with God.....? Or are you alone and helpless?

I want to hud you so much... I could of........ but Matthew just didn't let me. My heart will never stop bleeding from that.

Matthews coming here in 2 weeks for my birthday..... I dont know what Im going to do. I want it over so bad....... I pray so hard I wont be sucked in again. What do I say...... how can I ever hug him?

I have my modeling audition in 2 weeks too... Been stressing over that. I really hope things look up soon... and that... I will have the strength to get through this all </3